Controlling behavior can exist in various relationships. Parental relationships, family relationships, friends, coworkers and yes even partners. While all of the aforementioned relationships may include someone who behaves in an unhealthy, controlling manner, it is perhaps the romantic relationships that may feel the most intrusive and at times traumatic..
What Is Controlling Behavior?
Controlling behavior is the act of one person expecting, compelling and/or requiring others to submit to their own needs even at the harm of others. A controlling person targets an individual and then through various means dominates them in an unhealthy, self-serving manner.
Who is Being Controlled?
Sad but true it is likely to be individuals who are the closest to us in one capacity or another who control others’ by taking advantage of introversion, trust, and a deep seeded belief that just because love exists then there is no way that this person of importance would hurt us deliberately.
Someone on the receiving end of a controlling person may often find themselves just “giving in” to keep the peace. Additionally, a person involved in a controlling relationship may experience:
The person exhibiting controlling behavior is likely to exhibit plausible deniability, often using partial truths and gaslighting as a way to cause confusion with the ultimate outcome of “getting their way” Other signs of controlling behavior:
There are various reasons why some people try to control others.
The positive to all of this….controlling behavior is a learned behavior and thus controlling behavior is something that can be “unlearned” and replaced by healthier behavior. If you find that you are in a controlling situation or that you may be a controller yourself start by asking if this is the way you want the rest of your life to go?” If the answer is no then take the step and reach out for help.
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Daniel R. Sullivan, MA, LPC
May 05, 2020