Controlling behavior can exist in various relationships. Parental relationships, family relationships, friends, coworkers and yes even partners. While all of the aforementioned relationships may include someone who behaves in an unhealthy, controlling manner, it is perhaps the romantic relationships that may feel the most intrusive and at times traumatic..
What Is Controlling Behavior?
Controlling behavior is the act of one person expecting, compelling and/or requiring others to submit to their own needs even at the harm of others. A controlling person targets an individual and then through various means dominates them in an unhealthy, self-serving manner.
Who is Being Controlled?
Sad but true it is likely to be individuals who are the closest to us in one capacity or another who control others’ by taking advantage of introversion, trust, and a deep seeded belief that just because love exists then there is no way that this person of importance would hurt us deliberately.
Someone on the receiving end of a controlling person may often find themselves just “giving in” to keep the peace. Additionally, a person involved in a controlling relationship may experience:
The person exhibiting controlling behavior is likely to exhibit plausible deniability, often using partial truths and gaslighting as a way to cause confusion with the ultimate outcome of “getting their way” Other signs of controlling behavior:
There are various reasons why some people try to control others.
The positive to all of this….controlling behavior is a learned behavior and thus controlling behavior is something that can be “unlearned” and replaced by healthier behavior. If you find that you are in a controlling situation or that you may be a controller yourself start by asking if this is the way you want the rest of your life to go?” If the answer is no then take the step and reach out for help.
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Daniel R. Sullivan, MA, LPC
May 05, 2020
It's a scary time for all of us right now. Most of us could have never imagined maneuvering through life in the 21st century blindly. Yet, here we are living day by day in an unprecedented uncertainty. It is that feeling of uncertainty that may be the reason for many of us being stressed out. An overwhelming sense of fear, panic and sadness may be building up and we simply don't know what to do with all this flood of emotions.
However, even uncharted areas of our lives there are things we can do to try to ease some of the stress, panic and sadness. While everyone is managing life in the midst of a pandemic differently there are a few steps that we can do to bring us some emotional relief.
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If you are one the plethora of individuals who have suffered the loss of a loved one, the holidays can feel more like a burden we cannot wait to be over rather than a time of fun and cheer. While others rush from holiday party to holiday party, shopping into all hours of the night, and prepares for the annual holiday traditions, those grieving may be experiencing any number of depressive/grief related symptoms such as insomnia, anxiety, intense sadness, loss of appetite, and outbursts of anger, which lead to friend or family conflict. If you are experiencing any of the aforementioned symptoms and feel overwhelmed, you are not alone. Reach out and seek some help. While some businesses may close down for the holiday season, I do not. Call schedule an appointment and let us work through this together.